Such are the Dreams of a Corporate Woman

So last night I had a dream.  I dreamed I was back in the office again, working at a computer and making a comfortable living.  I'm going to be very honest here.....at times, the thought of going back to that lifestyle appeals to me.  I've always found myself successful at jobs where I know the rules.  There's a right way to do something, and there's a wrong way to do something.  There's never really any sort of panic involved in having to put out little fires every day.  It's routine.  It's predictable.  And, let's face it, in a land of constant unpredictability, expecting something and it actually being the way you expected it sounds pretty good to me.  Especially on the days where there isn't any power or running water.  But I also know that lifestyle of predictability was sucking the life out of me.  I was excelling at my job, I loved my co workers and they loved me, I was making enough money to live a very comfortable lifestyle and was even in the process of taking classes to get a promotion.  But I wasn't happy.  The things I deal with on a daily basis are hard.  People get sick and die.  Extreme poverty unlike I have ever seen is constantly and endlessly abounding.  There is an merciless amount of corruption, greed, and violence.  Without a doubt, this is the most difficult place I have ever lived in my entire life.  Yet, the remarkable thing is, despite this, I have never been happier. Living in God's purpose makes all of the other things look like gravy.  Yes, going through these thing is difficult.  Sometimes, it's so difficult I find myself longing for an airplane and a ticket back to the states.  But then I think of all that I would miss if I chose to go back to being safe.  I would miss working in God's purpose for me.  I would experiencing all of the miraculous and wondrous ways He manages to untangle even the most seemingly impossible problems, in ways better than I ever could have imagined.  I would miss finding out who I am capable of being, not by my possessions but by my character.  I would miss seeing God's love, mercy and grace transform seemingly helpless individuals into givers of light.  I would miss the glory of God in all of its amazing and incredible splendor.  And for me, being "safe" is not worth sacrificing even one of those things, let alone all of them.  The rewards I reap here far outweigh any sort of uncomfortable situation I might experience.  Some people think i'm crazy for wanting to live my life here.  And I can understand that.  From an outsider's point of view it may seem like a very dangerous and difficult place to set up shop.  But the way I see it is this....how can I even think of living anywhere or doing anything else?  Nothing is better than today....nothing is more perfect than this moment.