I'm here to tell you, satan is real, and yes, he indeed was sitting in my living room. Sometimes, my head moves forward before my heart. A lot of the time that can be a good thing. But sometimes, it can get me in a lot of trouble. I met a woman last week, in a support group we both attended. She chased me down after the meeting, and told me she was homeless and needed a place to stay. In my heart, I felt I needed to pray about it. But, my head won out over my heart, and sh came to stay with me that evening.
Almost immediately, two of my dogs became violently ill, and I had a bad headache. I still hadn't equated it having anything to do with my visitor. The longer she stayed, the worse things became. First Samson got sick, then Boss. The headaches were getting worse and worse. I needed help. So I did what I do best- I prayed and asked the Lord for guidance.. I found information online about a drug rehabilitation close to my home, and left to go look for it. I spent about forty five minutes on the back side of a motor bike, going up and down the road, looking. Finally, we stopped on the side of the road, and asked someone where it was. He didn't know, but a man that was walking to work overheard our conversation, and told us it had been shut down. He then told me that he and his wife operated a rehab, and asked me to join him to check it out.
So, we went and chatted for a bit. I found out his name was Benji. I liked Benji right away. He was easy to talk to. He was kind. He was real. He spoke the truth, and was non-judgmental. We ended up just sitting and talking for almost an hour. He allowed me to freely talk about the cultural stress I had been experiencing, and I was very appreciative of that.
Eventually, we ended up back at the house to talk to my visitor. During this conversation, a whole different side of her came out. She was vulnerable. She was crying. She revealed some very difficult things she went through in her past. She told us no one had ever trusted her or given her anything before. I believed her. Benji believed her. We really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, just as we had been given a long time ago. After the meeting, we arranged home visits and I walked Benji to the stage.
She was a different person when I came home. She very suddenly became non compliant with the treatment plan. She was tearing down Benji, and she was tearing down me. She looked me in the eye and told me I wasn't qualified for what I was doing. She tried desperately to confuse me. She twisted my words. And she pointed out every single thing she thought was wrong with me. She tried to convince me that only she had authority and she knew what she was talking about. It was like I was in a trance. I literally had to say to her I was no longer participating in the conversation, and I had to leave. I received guidance from a loving and trusted friend, and I asked her to leave. As we were walking down the road, she kept trying to confuse me. She kept trying to go back because she claimed she forgot something. In the mean time, i felt like I had the armor of God protecting me as none of what she was trying to do had any effect. I could see the frustration in her eyes and on her face as she was realizing what she was trying to do was not working anymore. I don't think Benji knows how much he helped me today.
Things immediately changed for the better now that she's gone. My headaches are gone. The dogs are as good as new. Even Annabelle the goat is giving milk again. It seems calm and serene in the house once again, and that's the way it should be. After she left, i learned from my house manager than another woman who was visiting this week had only spent a few minutes with this woman, and she knew there was something evil about her. I learned that this woman had screamed at my house girl, threatened to beat her, and threatened to hurt her if she told me. And I'm sure there are things I still don't know about. I'm going to have to rethink my strategy for admitting women to Sophie's Place. I'm going to be needing people who have gone before me to advise me and guide me. And I definitely still need people praying for me. Without a doubt it was very scary experience. But I'm choosing to focus on the fact that, for satan to actually come into my home, I must be doing something very right. I have to be going on the right path. I learned today that God's grace, mercy and love is all I need to face my fears, and move forward in His plan for me to share His love, mercy and grace.
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