As much as I can figure, there are two facets of starvation. The first facet, physical, we are all familiar with. All we need to do is walk down the street, and we see several poignant examples of physical starvation in one city block. The second facet of starvation is not so obvious. It is one that is dangerously ignored with far too much frequency. I'm talking about spiritual and psychological starvation. Just because the belly is full, doesn't mean the same can be said for the heart and the soul. How many times have you carelessly dropped a coin or two into a cup without actually getting down on the ground with the cup holder to pray for him or her? How many times have you offered and unkind or harsh word for someone who hurt you, instead of prayer? How many times have you clung onto past hurts, only to replay and act out those hurt feelings on other innocent people?
I'll be the first to admit, I have fell into this trap more times than I can count. Very recently, someone I trusted hurt me very deeply. Her behavior made me very angry, and bitter. I wanted to hurt her, at least just as much if not more, than she hurt me. There were many opportunities for me to do so, and I was chomping at the bit to just partake in one of them. I'm here to say, I'm still struggling with this bitterness, and I'm still struggling with feelings of wanting to hurt her. This bitterness and anger has been coming out sideways, onto innocent people who had absolutely no idea of my past hurts. I'm living the greatest adventure of my life living in Africa. But, it's also the hardest place I've ever lived. I envy people who say its a breeze and don't seem to see or experience the issues I face. Sometimes, I find myself starving for understanding, when all I can really do is accept the situation. I find myself starving for acceptance of my behavior, and I have to accept that I am surrounded by people who can't sympathize or empathize with me because they have been behaving differently all of their lives. I still have a difficult time wrapping my brain around the fact that scores of children are dying from common childhood illnesses that are easily cured in the US, because they are being denied medication simply because their parents can't afford it. It's hard. But, the beauty of the situation is this: when I am spiritually and/or psychologically starving, when I feel lost, when I feel broken, I can turn it over to God. No matter what I've said, done thought or felt, when I turn to Him, I am welcomed with open arms at His bountiful table, and I am filled up with His love, His mercy, and His grace. Unlike the physical starvation that can never really be quelled, the cessation of spiritual starvation is immediate. So, ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please: STOP focusing solely on the physical starvation. Focus instead on filling yourself up with the Holy Spirit. Rely on Him for your daily recommended intake of doses of spirituality. Don't just put coins in the cup. Tell the person God loves them. Don't turn away from your enemy with a bitter heart, and don't spoke to him or her with a harsh tongue. Tell him you will pray for him. Tell the people you're helping about God, what He has done for You, and what He can do for others. If given the choice, I would rather be physically than spiritually starving. Keep yourself spiritually satisfied in food of the Holy Spirit, and share Him with others. Unlike earthly food, there is always more than enough spiritual food to share, and everyone who receives it comes away satisfied and full.
No comments:
Post a Comment